Since I was a little girl my dream world was vivid and real to me. I never felt comfortable in my waking life. My father practiced transcendental meditation with us, myself and my sister. He’d play music with subliminal messages embedded in it that balanced our chakras. We’d practice nadi shuddhi breathing while he poked us with his acupuncture needles. At dinner time we’d talk about our ancestors, and the history of America. He’d ask us about our dreams and if we were using the dream journals he’d given us for Christmas. My sister wasn’t as into it as I was. She was deeply rooted in this life experience while I longed to exist only in my dreams. I am 39 now, I have a stack of journals by my bedside. Some contain my wishes, hopes and dreams, others contain my fears and random thoughts. Sometimes I read re-read my dream journals because they give me a sense of nostalgia. I hope to return to a particular dream because of the way, it made me feel when I was there the first time. Sometimes, before going to bed, I set my intentions to return to a specific place in a previous dream, or I ask spirit to deliver messages to me through my dreams. About a week ago, I did just that. I have been working with a spiritual guide who has been working with me in raising my vibration by clearing my Akashic records, as well as my chakras and aura. After our session last week, she told me that there was a block in my root chakra, that It was a choice, a boundary my root chakra/other self, put up as a mental choice so she couldn’t do any further clearing work there until I touch base with that of myself in an effort to gain insight as to why that boundary was put up. She asked me to do some roleplay with my other self, to face myself in the mirror and ask for insight, as she was explaining this to me, A word immediately came to me, that word was fear. The blockage was placed there purposely out of fear, fear of becoming whole, embracing all of me. We hung up and I immediately went over to the mirror in my bedroom and started talking to root chakra/self, I asked her to reveal to me why the barrier was placed in my root chakra, I asked her to bless me with any other insights that would be helpful on my journey in self-discovery. Then I told her that it was ok, fear is ok. I reassured her by telling her that I am afraid of the change that I am stepping into as well and that fear can be a valid way of expressing one’s self. Later that night I got ready for bed with my usual night time ritual, hopping that something would be revealed to me in my dreams. The next morning, I woke up with such release that I began to cry, In the midst of my tears, I wrote my dream down in my journal. I was in Africa, his family called me asking if I would come over and sit with him. He was dying and wanted me by his side. He expressed his love for me despite our love never being expressed as a long term traditional relationship. We walked down a long road as the sun was setting, we reminisced about the past, the good times, the bad, and all of our hopes and dreams. We reflected on how things hadn’t turned out exactly as we thought they would but that ultimately, we are ok and all is as it should be. And then he passed on, from this world into the next. It was day light, I was surrounded by high rises, noise and the smells of the city. I was in San Francisco. We were moving fast. I could feel love, and excitement, and wonder mixed with fear. I didn’t know where I was going but I kept moving forward swiftly. He was there with me, holding my hand. We were navigating the crowds of the city, trying to make our way to the train. We got on the train, and as we found our seats, we began to talk. he told me how much he loved me, that despite our long periods of separation, I was always with him. I felt the truth in his words and the oneness that existed between us. The train was moving through the city and headed toward a bright midday sun. I felt the warmth of the sun telling me that I was going to be ok as I transitioned from that world to this one. My dream represented death and rebirth. The ability to love who you were and where you came from while still being able to embrace who you are becoming and where you are headed. Dreams aren’t always this clear or cut and dry but since I set my intention and was open to receiving the message, it came clearly and effortlessly to me. Since our society equates love with romance, and heterosexual relationships, a man was inserted in my dream, but because in the first part of the dream he was black, and in the second part of the dream he was white, I believe that this man was merely a representation of my old self or my shadow self and my new self orhigher self. The dark night of the soul and the awakening. For it is within the void that we are birthed and rebirthed again and again. I believe that dreams reveal a lot about who we are, what we fear, desire and hope for. Keeping a dream journal has been such a valuable experience for me. My journals serve as a map of where my subconscious thoughts were, are and how things have progressed.